Skandian Ranger Picnic
by Bralt
Summary: Halt and the Skandians get into a disagreement, what happens when Gilan decides to smooth things out?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

Halt looked at the Skandians sitting across from him at the table. They had gone raiding on the west coast of Picta and their ship had been badly damaged. They had ended up along the coast by Redmont and Arald had welcomed them to a feast held in their honor. Halt wanted to object, it wasn't fun having drunk Skandians walking around the castle and village. Right now Svengal and Erak were laughing at something a crew mate had said. Their gaze shifted to Halt and he knew instinctively that he was now going to be the subject of their amusement.

"Cheer up Halt!" Erak said boisterously. Halt sat quietly wishing that Pauline had let him bring his cloak so he could get out of here, he really hated banquets and drunken Skandians didn't add to the fun. "You got too much grimness packed into that tiny body you got!" Halt set his coffee down and glared at him.

"And that's saying a lot! I mean look at how small you are!" Svengal added. Halt shifted his glare to include both of them. In their drunken state the alarm bells in their minds telling them to stop didn't go off.

"I can still shoot an arrow through that thick skull of yours," Halt said in a calm angry fashion. His size was always a touchy subject with him.

"And what kind of skill is that?" Erak practically yelled but he wore a drunken happy smile. "It wouldn't be a good skill to have in Skandia! In Skandia you would need to know how to row a wolfship but you're too small to do that!" Erak and his first mate burst out laughing while Pauline laid a hand on Halt's arm to calm him down some.

"He wouldn't even be able to raise the oar!" Svengal shouted, the Skandians around them laughed even harder and some of the castle inhabitants cracked a smile. Halt continued to glare at them.

"I prefer to know how to ride a horse then know how to row a box of wood." Pauline smiled at Halt's reply and some of the others at the table snorted. They all knew how well Skandians rode horses.

"It takes a big man to row a wolfship, horses are for little ones." Erak started laughing as he remembered something. "At least we don't get sick on horses!"

"Shut it," Halt said dangerously. The tone didn't register with the Skandians.

"Oh no Erak! We've gotten the little leprechaun angry!" Svengal yelled in mock terror.

Halt rose and walked out of the banquet hall, only to aware of the Skandians yelling at him.

**I will be writing this with the author JustaBunchaHOOPLA, please review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Darth Waffles here! We're co-writing this story, so no need to fret that I kidnapped Bralt :) Or did I…? *spooky music* And, yes, I am, in fact, hyped up on waffles.**

Chapter 2: Gil comes into play (he does, he really, really does (oh yeah, so does Will))

"Looks like someone got out of the wrong side of the bed," Gil smirked, glancing down at Will's head. Ruffling his hair with one slightly (excuse me, very) grimy hand, Will made a face but followed him inside the dining hall anyway. Slinking in amongst the shadows, they stayed unnoticed and Will surreptitiously smoothed his hair. He really was _not_ having a good day. Oh, why oh why, had he gotten himself in the position of Gil's puppy today? _At least he looks cute as a puppy, _the author thought.

"He's not in here…" Gil stated.

"Thanks for pointing the obvious out," Will huffed.

"Wait…I still don't get it…he left?" Will sighed to his shallow response.

"No _durrr _Gil, he left when you were unsuccessfully trying to be all gangsta' and slink in through the door."

"Not uh," the tall Ranger disagreed.

"Yes _uh_," Will mocked. Now it was Gilan's turn to huff around. Pivoting dramatically on his heel, he stomped out with a docile Will in tow, earning some baffled glances from various Skandians and stuffy nobles.

***********  
This is right before they found Halt…dramatic Gilans stomping around with a Will in tow is not all that interesting to write about…unless you think trying to slam a revolving door is amusing. Gil tends to slam stuff when he's in a huffy mood :) On to the story!  
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Taking a deep breath, Gil gnarred (yes, it's a real word) quietly. _Halt better be in here or I'm telling Pauline to switch his coffee to decaf again. _If only he knew Gil was behind it all…Grinning and shaking his head to clear his mind, Will wondered what was going on, why was he growling and imitating Tug? It was all very confusing except to the author. Which is, in fact, _moi._ The little one decided it was just one of those days. Yeah, those days when Gil decides to be super slow in opening a door so you knock him down in the process of miraculously finding your hidden mentor who is now, unfortunately, angry at you since you didn't knock. Everyone has _those _days.

"GET THE FANG OUT OR YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF THIS!" Halt screeched at the top of his lungs. It really wasn't a pleasant day for poor Will. In his final, brave, heroic, epic moments, he felt a padded arrow thump him in the head, but was quick enough to see a brief frame of what his crazy mentor was doing. Which was practicing shooting with a roughly drawn picture of Erak and Svengal. And all he thought was, _Halt really is a bad artist._Oh Will, such a guy, thinking of only that. Then he heard Gil crash on top of him with a thump. Then, of course, it went black but I'm pretty sure you can infer that.

**I am pretty proud of this chapter, if I must say so myself… toodles! (I sound French now…)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

Gilan woke up with his head pounding. He looked around and the memories of previous events came back to him. He stood shakily and saw what Halt had been in here before for. There was a crude drawing of Erak and Svengal hanging on the wall; it had marks where Halt's arrows had pierced the paper right between their eyes. Gilan smiled, Halt was going to pay for knocking them out. Halt was going to learn to deal with the Skandians. Gilan looked down as Will stirred; he had a lump growing on his head where Halt's padded arrow had hit him.

"Gil, why am I on the floor?" Will asked accusingly. Will clearly remembered Gilan leading him someplace but after that it was blurry so naturally he blamed the other man.

"Because of Halt," Gilan said distractedly, he was too busy trying to think of a way to get Halt back for knocking them out. He smiled as an idea came to him. "What do you say we go to the baron and see if he'll help organize something for us?" Will looked at him curiously.

"What do we want to organize?" Will asked as he stood awkwardly.

"We are going to ask the baron if we can organize a picnic." Gilan laughed at the look Will gave him. "Come on." Gilan walked out of the room.

"Last time I followed you I ended up knocked out," Will muttered as he followed Gilan.

They walked up to Arald's study and Gilan walked in without knocking with Will following close behind. Arald looked up from the papers on his desk and smiled at the two Rangers, he motioned for them to sit.

"We need to ask you for a favor," Gilan said while sitting down.

"For the last time, I won't let you have a contest to see who can shove the most nobles in the moat," Arald said jokingly. He remembered all too well the time that Gilan had requested the challenge.

"Fine, but that was a great idea." Gilan smiled. "We came to ask for something else anyway."

"What do you need?" Arald asked happily.

"I need you to organize a picnic for Erak, Svengal, Pauline, Halt, Will and me." Gilan laughed at how Arald looked at him, it was a near perfect copy of how Will had looked at him. "Halt had a fight with the Skandians and then knocked us out; I have every intention to get back at him for that," Gilan explained.

"Well then, I suppose I could make that happen." Arald grew serious for an instant. "But don't tell Halt I had anything to do with this." Gilan nodded and the baron looked at Will who was grinning like a school boy who had gotten out early. "I'm guessing you're in on this also?" Will nodded. "Okay then, how about tomorrow at noon. It could be down by the coast where their ship is moored."

"Thank you," Gilan said as he stood. "Will you be attending?"

"Absolutely not! Halt and Skandians will never end well. I'd be willing to bet that at least one of the Skandians ends up swimming back to Skandia."

The two Rangers laughed and exited the room, it was time to convince Halt to attend the picnic.

**There, this can't end well. :) Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**JustaBunchaHOOPLA's chapter**

Chapter 4: As Far as I Know, Halt Agrees

"Yes." Gilan calmly stated, as Halt had not taken his invitation to the picnic in stride.

"No." was his frank answer.

"Yes." Gil tried again. Will was still nursing his almost concussed head.

"No." _What a lovely mask of expressionlessness…_Will mused through his drowsiness. Gilan Davidson just sighed; he knew how stubborn his former mentor could be.

"Yes, you are coming whether you like it or not."

"No." he said bluntly.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Halt doubted a picnic with a bunch of those imbeciles called Skandians could be considered _fun._

"No." he said in a deadpan tone.

"There will be !" Will chimed in, unaware that he had, in fact, gone loopy from that arrow shot of Halt's. "I like horsies! Horsies like applez! Mwahahahahahhaha! Whee-snaw whee-snaw whee-snaw! Horsies go whee-snaw!" Will ran out of the cozy cabin with its laughing flames outside to the cold, ruthless winter. Probably to go annoy Tug for the time being. As long as it wasn't Abelard or Blaze, Gil and Halt were fine with it.

"Okkkkkayyyyyy…continuing on for the time being." Gil shook his head as screams were heard from Will, out in the stables. Thus time they were about unicorns…. "C'mon, Halt, everyone likes picnics!"

"Not ones with Skandians."

"What did they ever do to you?"

"There have been numerous incidents in which they have, surprisingly, did stuff to annoy me to the highest level."

"Such as?"

"1) made fun of my size, 2) made fun of me not liking boats, 3) annoying everything out of me, 4) made fun of my size, 5) made fun of my size."

"You repeated three of those things."

"I wanted to have five things, five is a nice round number. And I needed to emphasize my point."

"?" Why did everyone have to speak in riddles? Especially old people…

This was proving to be more difficult than first thought. Gilan played his trump card.

"Pauline's gonna be there…and it's her birthday,"

He knew Halt had no choice but to come. You don't miss your wife's birthday, even though it was a peculiar group of people to have it with. Couriers are curious people.


End file.
